Monroe Lending Library

We’ve Fallen and We Can’t Get Up

Space is at a premium in our little library.  In cramped quarters, mishaps happen.

 

One day, Phyllis asked Judy to hand her something off a bottom shelf by the desk.  Judy leaned forward to get it.  Unfortunately, when Judy stopped leaning, the chair didn’t.  It catapulted Judy headfirst into a box of books.  The chair liked Judy so much that it stayed stuck to Judy’s back.  So there was Judy, head stuck in books and chair stuck to her back.  Even if she had wanted to get up, she couldn’t have since she was laughing so hard that she couldn’t move.

 

Witnesses to the mayhem were Karen B. and Terry M.  They were worried that Judy might be injured.  Phyllis who could see that Judy was laughing was afraid that moving the chair might make the situation worse, so she went into the back to make room for Judy to reappear from out of the box. 

 

After laughing uncontrollably for fifteen minutes, Judy asked Terry to help move the chair.  Up right and uninjured, Judy joked that Phyllis was brushing her hair and freshening up her lipstick.  More laughter followed.

 

A few weeks later it was Phyllis’ turn.  Phyllis was sporting a new pair of tennis shoes.  The new rubber soles of her shoes and the carpet of the library proved to be incompatible.  She stumbled with a perfect nosedive into the floor. 

 

Rushing to her assistance, Ellen Kinsey and Judy ran to Phyllis’ rescue.  Ellen got down on the floor and took Phyllis’ pulse.

 

“Are you a nurse?”  Judy asked impressed with Ellen’s calm and self-assured demeanor.

 

“No, I just thought we should take her pulse,” Ellen replied.

 

After finding out that Phyllis was OK, Judy joked it was all because Ellen took her pulse.

 

At quitting time, Judy joked she was sure glad that Phyllis was off floor, because she’d really be mad if she tripped over her on the way out.

 

We may fall, but we sure have a good time getting right back up.

 

Judy Mann

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Sometimes working alone in the solitude and isolation of the library trailer can be a little, well, creepy.  Judy came in early one Saturday morning to get a jump start on some cataloging.  It’s library practice to always have two staff members working for safety reasons.  Judy accidentally left the door unlocked. 

 

Before the official open time, Judy was startled when a man opened the door.  She informed the man that the library didn’t open until 10:00.  Undeterred, he came on in and announced that he’d just look around for a while.

 

Then the strangeness began.  He stood by a book rack and peeked around the corner.  He moved to another rack and leered between the shelves at Judy working behind the desk.

 

A little freaked out, Judy decided to hide the cash box in the waste can in case he was looking for money.  She tried to search inconspicuously for a “weapon.”  Not being MacGyver, the best she could come up with were two metal rulers.

 

The man continued to act strangely.  Not feeling secure with her “weapons” Judy pretended to call Phyllis on her cell phone.

 

“Oh, hello, Phyllis.  So you’re on your way to library.  No I didn’t forget that the football team would here soon to deliver large boxes of books.”

 

More leering ensued until Phyllis actually arrived.  Judy handed Phyllis a note, “Strange man, help.”

 

Phyllis calmly asked the man if she could help him locate a specific book.  Apparently she is very intimidating because the gentleman immediately left.

 

“What’s going on with rulers?” Phyllis asked.

 

Judy, matter of factly, said, “Oh, these are my weapons of mass destruction.”

 

Laughter is the best medicine for creepy.

 

Judy Mann

Mayberry

If you visit our library in addition to the sound of pages turning, you’ll hear lots of laughter.  Come inside and share a laugh with us.

 

Our library is modest in its accommodations.  We are a bare bones operation.  We don’t have lavish digs but we are a clean well lighted place that would make Hemingway proud.

 

A new member visited our library and brought her husband.  They walked around and looked at books and whispered to each other.  They smiled and chuckled.  They looked around some more.  Phyllis Sells and Judy Mann were manning the desk that day.  The couple seemed to really like our little library.  As they were checking out, the wife said with a grin, “I just had to bring my husband with me.  I told him coming to the library was just like going to Mayberry.”

 

As the door closed, Judy and Phyllis both looked at the other and said, “Well, I guess that makes you Barney.” 

 

In the end, they decided Phyllis was Andy since she’s in charge.  They took the Mayberry comment to be a great compliment.  Our library is a friendly and welcoming place.  We’re just “down home” folks.

 

Judy Mann

A Funny Thing (or two) Happened at the Library

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?  Lily Tomlin

 

In this section, we'll explore the fun and laughter barely contained by the walls of a double-wide.